My Top 6 Least Favourite Films of 2017

Now for the worst of the worst. But before I get started I want to give a shout out to that crime movie with Jamie Lannister. I didn't review it here, but it was the most boring, uneventful film I saw all year. It was as if the makers were going for a Coen feel, without knowing what makes it. But, it wasn't completely terrible so a shout out is fine.

6- Assassin's Creed
Assassin's Creed continues the tradition of good video games being made into bad films. And what really makes this one worse, is the complete waste of the talent involved. It could have broken the mold, but instead conformed to the genre.

5- Flatliners
Once again, talent has been wasted. They took a good concept, added in a solid cast, director, and writer, and then put them all in a paper shredder, then a blender, and tried to salvage what was left. Of course the end result was utter rubbish.

4- The Mummy
The worst, most incompetent and obvious attempt at a cash in this year. Neither fun nor scary, and was made to tick boxes and cash cheques.

3- Sleepless
This film easily has the worst action of any film this year. It also has an extremely boring plot, uninteresting characters, and a perceived lack of enthusiasm from everyone involved.

2- Inhumans
Inhumane is the perfect word to describe... "this", whatever it is. There was a complete lack of competence in every aspect of making Nonpeoples that made it to the screen. It was definitely the laziest thing I've seen in cinemas this year. At least they kind of tried to do something (make money) with The Mummy. I honestly don't think anyone involved with Not-homosapiens put their full effort in once they saw the script and realised it can't be salvaged. I don't care if it's not technically a film, I used a gift card to watch it in IMAX(!), so I will consider it so and rant accordingly. It's fair to say that I hated Inhummus.

1- Fist Fight
I absolutely hated this "comedy". I've done my best to purge all memory of this film from my mind. But what I can't do, is forget the awkward boredom of being in a cinema, watching a "comedy" where nobody was laughing. The utterly unfunny jokes were made even worse by the awkward space for laughter which was left silent. Everything about this film was rotten, and I'm done with it.

Please, please, please, don't watch any of these films. Save yourself. Save the Rebellion. Save the dream.

My Top 6 Favourite Films of 2017

I'm sorry for the rushed reviews a few days ago, but I wanted this to be (semi)-relevant.

Well, here are the 6 films I liked the most which were released in the UK during 2017. Why 6? Because I couldn't narrow it down to 5. But before I start, I want to give a quick shout out to Mindhorn and Brigsby. Bear, because more people need to see both of these films.

6- Wind River
Taylor Sheridan once again shows that he is a promising new writer, and is able to extend his skills to directing. He has made a cold film with characters you really care for. And Jeremy Renner gives his best performance yet, while I can't wait to see Gil Birmingham in more films.

5- The Disaster Artist
How funny is it that one of the best films of the year is about a film infamous for how bad it is? But it works because it is about more than that. It's about the friendship between Tommy and Greg. It's about achieving your dreams (with a mysterious bottomless pit of money). It's about how art is preserved, remembered and, most importantly, experienced. Plus, James Franco is just absolutely fantastic.

4- A Monster Calls
Even having read the book a few times before seeing this adaptation, I was still completely invested emotionally in this film. The way the story is told is brilliant. The cgi elements of the film blend really well. The story is heartbreaking. And it really is a film which can be watched many times despite the rather emotional scenes contained within.

3- Blade Runner 2049
The rare case if a sequel which surpasses the quality of the original. I absolutely loved this film. It's a shame it's not getting more recognition during this awards season as it definitely deserves it. It also cements Denis Villeneuve as one of the great modern film makers.

2- Baby Driver
The coolest, most entertaining film released this year, which also happens to be directed, written, constructed, edited, acted and choreographed extremely well.

1- Get Out
I mean, of course it is. There is not one single film released this year which has stuck with me, which has made me think, which has completely astounded me more than Get Out. Everything about this film is planned out meticulously, and even after five viewings I still see new stuff. Jordan Peele has made a future classic, and I hope he has more where this came from.

Thanks for reading over the past year, and I can't stress enough how good of a year it has been for film. It was really difficult to narrow it down to 6 films, but I think that these really are the best of last year (at least in my opinion).

The Greatest Showman review

I did not enjoy watching the film. While it looked great, it just didn't work for me.

I didn't like that the songs sounded like forgettable, generic, modern pop songs. I found the story uninteresting. I thought that the lip synching wasn't done that well. And I thought that they portrayed Barnum too positively.

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi review

The parts I like, I really like. The parts I don't like, I really don't like.

The stories involving Rey, Kylo Ren, Luke, Leia, and Poe, I think is some of the best stuff in a Star Wars film. But, whenever the sub plot involving Finn and new character Rose appears again, it drags the film back. It's an uninteresting, pointless side adventure that doesn't fit with the rest of the film.

I still really liked it though.

Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri review

I like Martin McDonagh's films a lot. His dark sense of humour combines really well with the dark stories and characters he explores. Thankfully, Three Billboards is no different.

Frances McDormand plays a woman whose daughter was raped and murdered, and the criminal was never caught. In an attempt to find justice, she puts up three billboards to provoke the chief of police.

This is an excellent film. The way that the characters interactions and actions affect the story is brilliant. There is plenty of great humour, and fantastic dark drama. And the cast is excellent. Francis McDormand is the standout as the grieving mother, and Woody Harrelson and Sam Rockwell are both spectacular as police officers with different ideals.

In short: One of the best written, and executed films recently.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle review

I don't like the original Jumanji, it's just not funny or enjoyable. But I decided to see this because of The Rock. And it is surprisingly fun. Especially Jack Black.

The concept is that four teenagers in a Breakfast Club set up get brought into Jumanji, which has evolved to become a video game. In the video game, they inhabit the bodies of the characters. The social media obsessed teenage girl gets put into Jack Black's body, and he gets a lot of humour from it.

Plus, they get a lot of archetypes of video games, some retro, some modern, right. I just appreciated this.

Molly's Game review

If you like Aaron Sorkin's writing, you're going to like this. By directing this film, he takes full reins and puts exactly what he intends on screen. And the cast is great, but that makes sense when you've got people like Jessica Chastain, Idris Elba, Michael Cera and Kevin Costner in the cast.

The Disaster Artist review

I loved it. This is my favourite comedy of the year. It's a great look at the relationship between two friends, a very interesting insight into one of the most notorious cult films ever made, and a absolutely brilliant watch.

Stronger review

It's alright. Gyllenhaal is great. Not much else stands out.

Wonder review

Well done feel good movie. I enjoyed watching it. But...

SPOILERS:
I thought killing the dog was a cheap trick. It worked, but it didn't feel earned.

Suburbicon review

Of all the films I've seen this year, this left me with the most questions. I have no idea what drove most of the plot, which is weird because I was able to guess what was going to happen, but I didn't know why.

Battle of the Sexes review

Well done exploration of two very different, but still similar people. Plus, it's quite fun to watch, and portrays it's message well.

Brigsby Bear review

I really enjoyed this. I didn't know anything about this film before I saw it and I recommended you do the same. But I would have liked a little but more darkness.

Good Time review

Great. Really great.

Ingrid Goes West review

It's a good commentary on addiction in a social media heavy environment. But I couldn't properly connect to any of the characters because of how much I did like the culture presented in the film. This doesn't mean I didn't like it, but I could have done with more investment in the characters.

Justice League review

I will admit, I enjoyed it the first time around, but the second: I hated it.

Bad cgi, video game cutscene action scenes, humour that is thrown against the wall to see what sticks, an uninteresting, bland story, a boring villain, and Batman doing one liners.

It was rubbish.

Paddington 2 review

Just as fun as the first one. It is wondrously joyous. Really makes you feel good.

Only the Brave review

Thematically similar to Patriots Day. Works really well, mainly due to the dynamic of the cast and the realistic cgi.

Murder on the Orient Express (2017) review

Yeah, it's good. It had me engaged throughout and I never felt the length. Plus, what an amazing cast!

The Killing of a Sacred Deer

I loved this film. It's dark, twisted, disturbing, interesting and has a pitch black sense of humour. It's definitely not for everyone, but this film is extremely special in the way that it's made. This updating of a Greek tragedy really works.

Breathe review

Maybe I'm just cynical, but I just saw this film as Andrew Garfield trying for an Oscar. There wasn't anything really new in here, and it is efficiently made. It's nothing special, and nothing I'd revisit soon.

Thor: Ragnarok review

It's really fun. I very much enjoyed watching it. I must admit, it did feel like two different films mashed together: the Marvel movie and the Taika Waititi movie.

But Korg was great.

Geostorm review

How do you mess up a film called Geostorm? Weather satellites getting hacked and causing deadly weather across the globe... That sounds ridiculously fun. But the movie manages to make this concept boring.

Now this is a spoiler, so...
The film is building up to an event that they dub a "Geostorm": a catastrophic event where the satellites cause deadly storms to happen at once all over the world and kill everyone. Or something like that. But the movie doesn't even Geostorm. That's right, it doesn't even follow through with its terribly fun concept. And there are like, three storms. And they're boring.

In short: You had one job.

The Florida Project review

The Florida Project is a drama set in the shadow of Disney World, and follows a young girl living in poverty, and how she spends her summer.

The film doesn't have a conventional narrative, but is still engaging in the story that it tells. As it is told from a child's perspective, we mostly see the fun that she finds in the motels and surrounding areas. All of the darkness is happening just off screen, enough so that we can understand the situation that the girl and her mother are in.

The main actors all give really good performances. This is not surprising from Willem Dafoe, but is from the people who play Moonee and Halley, one being a child and the other an instagram model.

In short: An important look at those who live in poverty in Florida.

Happy Death Day review

After how boring Ninjago was, I'm glad Happy Death Day was able to have fun with its premise.

I wasn't planning on seeing Happy Death Day as I thought the trailer looked terrible. I only saw it was because I was near a cinema and a screening was starting in ten minutes. So when the film was finished, I was pleasantly surprised.

Instead of making a scary slasher movie, the filmmakers decided to have fun with a concept that has been done to death. This was quite refreshing, even if the plot is exactly the same as Groundhog Day, but with more murder.

Now, there is some really stupid stuff in the film. One of the twists towards the end is especially so. And, there is some logic that just make no sense aswell.

In short: It's enjoyable.

The Lego Ninjago Movie review

I was really disappointed with Ninjago. I think the other Lego Movies are great fun, but this one is really boring.

It starts out like a Lego Power Rangers, which I quite enjoyed. But, it went downhill quickly. After about twenty minutes they go into a forest, and the laughs and the fun stop.

In short: I really wanted to like it, but it wasn't assembled well.

The Snowman review

0/10. These gritty reboots of children's classics suck. The Snowman doesn't even come to life in this one.

Though, in all seriousness, what can I say about The Snowman that director Tomas Alfredson hasn't already said. It's a mess. It doesn't make sense. Scenes are missing. There's a subplot involving JK Simmons that goes nowhere. It just seems unfinished.

Speaking of Simmons, the subplot involves him making a bid for whatever Norwegian city it is set in to host the "Winter World Cup". I couldn't take this seriously, as whenever he said it, I just kept thinking that they didn't get permission from the Olympic committee to use their name.

And I feel bad for Val Kilmer. I don't know if it's a bad dub, or because of a surgery pertaining to his illness, but whenever he spoke it just looked unnatural.

There was also one piece of music in the film that sounded straight out of Beetlejuice.

Plus, it's quite predictable. Admittedly, I was quite distracted during the film due to my knee, but my mum was able to guess the killer, and another twist, much earlier than I'm sure the filmmakers intended.

In short: Don't.

The Death of Stalin review

The Death of Stalin is an Armando Iannuci comedy, which follows the aftermath of Stalin's death in Russia.

If you have watched any of Iannuci's other political comedies, then you know exactly what sort of comedy you'll get from this film: alot of swearing, insults, and incompetence in places of power.

The whole cast have great comic timing. In such a great ensemble, Simon Russell Beale and Jason Isaacs manage to stand out. Beale is particularly slimy as the scheming Beria, and Isaacs' delivery of all his loud lines in a Northern English accent makes his performance very memorable.

In short: The Death of Stalin takes a dark time in Russian history, and is able to be hilarious while still being respectful.

Blade Runner 2049 review

Blade Runner 2049 is the followup to the cult classic sci-fi film, and sees Ryan Gosling as a blade runner who tries to uncover a conspiracy involving Rick Deckard.

I like the original Blade Runner. The first time I saw it, I found it slow and boring. When I've watched it since, I liked it more, but found some parts of the film (mainly the Deckard/Rachel subplot) to be problematic.

I think that 2049 is even better than the original. I say this because I really liked it the first time I saw it, and realised just how great it was the second time.

I'm going to keep this brief so as not to spoil anything, but Denis Villeneuve has succeeded in making a sequel true in nature to the original.

In short: Blade Runner 2049 is probably one of the best films of the year.

Goodbye Christopher Robin review

Goodbye Christopher Robin tells the story of A.A. Milne's inspiration for writing Winnie the Pooh, and how its success affected his son's life.

This was a pretty good film. It shows how neither Milne nor his wife were very prepared to have a child, and how through Winnie the Pooh, Milne and his son become closer, and then more distant.

It features very good performances from all the cast, and is well written.

In short: An effective true story tale behind one of the most well known fictional characters.

Flatliners (2017) review

Flatliners is a remake of the '90s film about a group of medical students who kill and resuscitate each other to get an idea of the afterlife.

Wow. . . This film is terrible. It could have been fun, it really could have been fun.

First of all, it's a waste of talent. You have a talented director, a writer who wrote one of the best sci-fi films of this decade, Ellen Page, Kiersey Clemons and Diego Luna in the cast. On paper, that should result in a good film. So what happened.

This is a good premise. Everyone wants to know what happens when you die. It's one of the biggest mysteries surrounding life. Yet they took this premise and made it boring and generic. Instead of being thought provoking in its exploration of the afterlife, it turns into a haunting film. And not a psychological haunting. There are parts where if you think about it from the audience's perspective, it has to be ghosts haunting them.

The cast are completely wasted. There are some really good actors in the film, but the dialogue they are given is very clunky and unbelievable. The character development is paper thin, and there are several interesting directions it could go in that it completely ignores in favour of jump scares. There are several jump scares which do not affect the characters or their situation, and are there to get a jolt from the audience. These are the laziest forms of scaring audiences in horror. At least gross out gore requires creativity (which I refuse to watch), these dumb jump scares just need a loud noise after 10 seconds of silence.

And I want to ask: Why is Kiefer Sutherland in this film. He isn't playing the same character from the original as he has a different name, and his inclusion in the film isn't needed. All he does is give the occasional lecture to the most attractive group of medical students ever.

In short: Do not resuscitate.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle review

I love the first one.
I think this one is great fun.
Shame it's not longer.

I am Doing Really Bad at Keeping up With Reviewing Current Releases

You may have noticed that I haven't posted a review since September. I have no excuse; I haven't been busy with school/work, I've not been sick, a family member hasn't been sick, I've not moved anywhere, and I'm still seeing films. There is no excuse apart from laziness.

I'm kidding, Inhumans was really that bad. So bad that it stopped me from reviewing for two months.

Though seriously, I'm going to catch up (again). Hopefully, I'll be caught up by the end of the year, and I can review many of the award contenders. Though I have already missed films like Call Me by Your Name, Professor Marston and the Wonder Women, and Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool. I'm not going to review any Netflix originals until I'm caught up. But, once I'm caught up, I will start a new thing called "I Want to Talk About. . ."

More reviews in the coming days.