Inhumans review

Inhumans is possibly one of the worst pieces of media I've ever seen.

Before I start, just know I have no nostalgia or any other connection to the Inhumans comics. I knew who Black Bolt and Medusa were, but that's it.

I knew I was in trouble when the title music sounded like stock Disney World queue music.

I honestly don't think I've seen a more incompetent. . . whatever this is. . . before. Throughout the whole thing I got the feeling this was being made by people who don't care, while one executive was making everything happen because they don't have the rights to the X-Men. There is not one actor who looks invested. All the performances are bland, and none of the characters are particularly memorable or likeable. Anson Mount, in particular, looks extremely bored and sort of gets away with it, as he plays a mute.

Then there's every other character. With my little prior knowledge of the unhumans, I was very confused by what they were. They are strange moon people who have powers which they can(or can't) unlock until a certain time(don't know when that is) and are afraid that humans will discover their existence, and that threatens them somehow, despite living in the same universe as The Avengers, or at least, Agents of Shield. That's a point, isn't one of the agents in Agents of Shield an inhaman? I fell of the show halfway through season 1, so I'm not entirely sure, but I remember reading that they were doing an inhumane storyline on that show at some point. Which, once again begs the question of why they are scared humans will discover them! I mean, some of the nothumans are basically human.

Alright, so there is this ceremony that requires royalty where people go into cubicles and get sprayed with something and come out with powers, or not. Why the imhunams aren't just born with their powers is never explained. Neither is when they do this ceremony, though I just presumed it was at around 18. So anyway, not everyone born on really fake CGI moon base has powers once they go through the conversion process, or whatever it's called. These guys are humans right, so why not send them down to Earth with every other human and all you extrahumans can stay in your weird utopian moon city? Or go down to Earth and mingle with humans who already know about aliens and superheroes?

I'm also still confused about what some of the powers are. Black Bolt and Medusa are obvious. The Asian guy's power is revealed too. But the black guy, blonde girl, and the antagonist girl's powers are very unclear and forgettable. Is black guy's power being half goat? And if so, then he is just a mythical Greek creature. Is blonde girl's power having Lockjaw?

About Lockjaw: he is a teleportation device. Oh, and he's a giant dog. I like dogs, everyone does. Lockjaw wasn't enough for me to at least enjoy what was happening when he was on screen. As a teleporter he is completely unreliable, even though they rely on him for everything. Now, the big question I have about Lockjaw is where did he come from (cotton eyed Joe)? Is he blonde girl's power, is he completely unrelated to her and just a gift from someone. Also, why does blonde girl have a black stripe in her hair? I'm guessing that it's related to her power, but given that it's never explained, I have no idea why it's there apart from aesthetic.

Speaking of which, this show looks awful. The set design is terrible, and the costumes. . . well the costumes are something else. To be fair, they look like the comic characters, but they look awful on screen, especially an IMAX screen. They looked like really good cosplay, and, sure, if I saw these costumes at a convention, I'd think they're really good. But on screen, they're the argument against the X-Men wearing blue and yellow spandex.

I have no link here. The editors must think the audience are idiots. Everytime it goes back to a location we've seen before, it tells you where you are, even though we have the ability to remember what happened 5 minutes ago. And it's a shame they tried to make the locations clear, instead of making everything else clear.

Some other stuff about isnnhaum. The scene where they shave Medusa's hair is unintentionally hilarious. Whenever they said Lockjaw, it sounded like they were saying Okja, which made me wish I were watching Okja instead. Then I just got angry that this mess was shown in (IMAX) cinemas, but I had no option but to watch Okja at home, on TV. And has  using Paint it Black become a thing now? First, Westworld did a great thematic cover in the opening episode, then it was used in the trailer for The Mummy, and now there was an "edgy" cover in this.

One final thing: why was this shot with IMAX cameras. There's absolutely nothing about the show that lends itself to the IMAX format. There are no big actions scenes, and the large format just reinforces how badly lit and fake everything looks. I would have much preferred it if the first two episodes of Star Trek Discovery were shot this way instead, as it actually looks good and has enough action to justify the format.

Is this two episodes of a tv show, a movie, or something else? No matter what it is, it is incredibly dreadful.

In short: No.